The Family Bed

Throughout our cottage build, people occasionally asked where Alice would be sleeping. The simple answer is that she sleeps in the bed with us. That sparks a few more questions, so I’ll share as much as I can.

Why doesn’t she sleep in her own bed/crib?

Alice sort of slept in a crib for all of two nights before we started co-sleeping. I have an entire blog post about co-sleeping, why we did it, and how we do it safely. Read it here. In short, I wanted her close to me when she was only days old, and she has been nursing throughout the night ever since. Yes, for over two years. I value sleep too much to have to get out of the bed to nurse. 

Do you even get to sleep with a toddler in your bed? 

Mostly. For the last few months, she has been nursing throughout the night way more than she used to. So lately, I have not been getting as much sleep. But for most of the first two years of her life, she would nurse and I would be half asleep. So I haven’t technically had a full night’s sleep in two years, but I know that I get better sleep than many parents who have to physically get out of bed to tend to their child’s needs. 

Will she ever sleep in her own bed?

I have a plan to make a trundle bed for Alice after we get our bed frame out of storage. Harry and I will sleep on our full bed, and Alice will sleep on a twin bed that slides out from under the full bed. My plan is to wean her and soon I will transfer her to her own bed (that is right next to ours). I have loved our time co-sleeping together but it is just about time to transition her to her own bed. She wakes too easily when we get into bed and she is much more wiggly (i.e. we are getting kicked) than she used to be.

What about for the future?

We do not plan to live in the cottage forever. Really, we only want to be here two to five years, preferably closer to two. We never planned to live in Oklahoma, and this opportunity just kind of happened (even though we made it happen). We always wanted to live in Oregon. We left Oregon because of the COVID craziness, but we always intended on going back eventually. We originally planned on returning at the end of the summer of 2020, but instead we started building the cottage. 

Oregon is where we consider “home.” Especially after having been gone for a year, we realize that is truly where we want to be. We can’t plan exactly how and when we will return because so much can happen between now and then. But ultimately, when Alice is old enough to need her own room, we will probably not be living at the cottage anymore.

How do you and Harry have alone time if you all share a bedroom?

Alice doesn’t take naps, so she goes to bed at 7 p.m. every night. After a long time of trying to get her on a consistent sleep schedule, we finally got her on one sometime last year. She consistently goes to bed around 7 p.m. every night, and this allows Harry and I to have time together before we go to sleep.

Hopefully, that answers all your questions about our family bed. Let us know if there’s anything else you’d like to know about life in our cottage!